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Punxsutawny Phil seen vacationing in St. Barts while Southern states pay for his shadow
by Bradley Moore PENNSYLVANIA - The snow’s coming down. I’m watching it fall. Lots of people around. But not that gauche little...
LITComedy
Feb 17, 20211 min read
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Inclusion Win! Pixar Announces First Openly Gay Amorphous Blob
By Danny Neary Queer characters aren't new to the history of Pixar films but until now those characters' sexuality has only ever been...
LITerally News
Feb 17, 20211 min read
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Trump Denies Being Sent To Hospital By Mini Corn Dogs
By Danny Neary WASHINGTON — Firmly defending his physical health, President Trump stated that despite the rumors he was not in fact sent...
LITerally News
Feb 10, 20211 min read
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Which Vaccine Is Best For Your Sign?
By Sean Delaney We all know that the best vaccines kick the shit out of a virus’ pathogen, but not all vaccines are created equal. Which...
LITerally News
Feb 3, 20215 min read
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Keeping Your New Year's Resolutions
By Sean Delaney Many of us get bitten by the “Inspiration Bug” every January, but that rarely translates into long-term results. If you...
LITerally News
Jan 27, 20212 min read
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Biden Inspires Millions To Lower Their Expectations
By Danny Neary (https://www.cnet.com/how-to/president-elect-joe-biden-inauguration) D.C. - Speaking for the first time as President of...
LITerally News
Jan 20, 20211 min read
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America's Better Than This, By Guy With No Understanding Of History
By Danny Neary What happened at the capitol was atrocious, America is and always has been better than this. America was founded on the...
LITerally News
Jan 13, 20212 min read
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Joe Biden's New Year's Resolutions
By Danny Neary 1. Keep Fundraising People are hurting right now, believe me I know it's been tough as all get out. So, it's really...
LITerally News
Jan 6, 20212 min read
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Donald Trump's New Year's Resolutions
By Danny Neary 1. Stop Committing Crimes If I'm not going to be President anymore, because it was rigged and stolen and Michigan insisted...
LITerally News
Dec 30, 20202 min read
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Blue State Christmas: Stories Of Joy
By Danny Neary "Spread Joy for things going back to normal for people like me!" This Christmas give your stupid, unemployed Uncle the...
LITerally News
Dec 23, 20202 min read
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A Blue State Christmas
By Danny Neary "There are no red states and blue states. Just states full of smart people and states full of people we should make fun...
LITerally News
Dec 16, 20203 min read
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Merry Christmas Texts From The Guy You Almost Had Sex With 5 Years Ago
By Danny Neary Year One - Hey there! Hope you're having a Merry Christmas. Was great connecting the other night. Really regretting not...
LITerally News
Dec 9, 20202 min read
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"I'm Not A Failure There's A Pandemic!" Says Failure
By Danny Neary CHICAGO - Sitting alone in his apartment at 1:45 in the afternoon area man Dave Wilkins, a complete failure of a man, once...
LITerally News
Dec 2, 20201 min read
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Sorry If My Comedy Triggered You
By Danny Neary Looks like the pc police are after me again, just for a joke! I have been cancelled all because some people online were...
LITerally News
Nov 25, 20202 min read
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Democrats Criticize Melania Trump's Clothing Choice For Public Execution
By Danny Neary WASHINGTON - Today the First Lady, Melania Trump is in the news again, not for anything she said or did at President...
LITerally News
Nov 18, 20201 min read
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Inspiring! Woman Doesn't Want To Die Today
By Danny Neary Talk about inspiring! Emily Peterson woke up today and for the first time in nearly a year she didn't crave the sweet...
LITerally News
Nov 11, 20202 min read
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Hey, It's Me The Guy In Your Lecture Who Always Has To Add Something
By Danny Neary Uh, huh that's great sorry to interrupt Lauren, I just happened to disagree. And not to cut you off but I think what you...
LITerally News
Nov 4, 20201 min read
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I'm A Never Trump Republican As Long As you elect a Republican!
By Danny Neary Hello, I am one of the single dozen Republicans who is really, sincerely voting for a Democrat this time around because I...
LITerally News
Oct 28, 20202 min read
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Ryan Murphy Teases Little Kid
By Danny Neary Hollywood - Exciting news out of Hollywood today for Ryan Murphy and American Horror Story fans, Ryan Murphy just teased a...
LITerally News
Oct 21, 20201 min read
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Charlotte McKinney’s Smoothie Recipe Will Momentarily Relive Your Crushing Anxiety
By Danny Neary If you’ve been searching for a new morning beverage to really perk you up for a few fleeting moments before the crushing...
LITerally News
Oct 14, 20201 min read
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