CDC ADVISES JUST PRETENDING IT'S OVER
By Danny Neary WASHINGTON - In a public address this morning heads of the CDC issued a statement advising Americans to "Just pretend it's...
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LITerally News
Sep 30, 20201 min read
Charlie's Mom Reacts To Grandpa Joe's Dance
By Danny Neary Oh, wow. It's a miracle. Who knew you could walk haha, not me. I've been making you cabbage soup for 20 years. So not...
LITerally News
Sep 23, 20201 min read
Update From The Guy In Improv Who Bought In Too Hard
By Danny Neary Hey, you guys riffing? Nice, nice. Love riffing. Honestly thought it's all about the object work. Yeah, uh huh. No object...
LITerally News
Sep 16, 20201 min read
"Stop Politicizing Sports" Says Man In Camouflage Bears Jersey
By Danny Neary CHICAGO - Standing for the anthem from his living room local man, Tom Swanson quickly grew irritated after seeing athletes...
LITerally News
Sep 9, 20201 min read
How To Help BLM Without Inconveniencing Yourself
By Danny Neary It's the question everyone is asking. How can I help BLM without inconveniencing myself even slightly? Well, read this...
LITerally News
Sep 2, 20201 min read
Biden Ready To Sit Down, Hear Concerns Of Wealthy Donors
By Danny Neary D.C. - It's been a tumultuous year in America. From the ongoing coronavirus pandemic to the violence against protestors...
LITerally News
Aug 26, 20201 min read
Area Woman Wonders If Mimosa Worth Killing Your Entire Family
By Danny Neary CHICAGO - Drinking on a patio in River North Chicago surrounded by many, many people, area woman Jamie Miller wondered if...
LITerally News
Aug 19, 20202 min read
Philly, Please Stop Swimming In Garbage
By Sean Delaney and Danny Neary Hello, I'm Paddy Maguire Vice Deputy Of Public Health And Safety for the great city of Philadelphia! I...
LITerally News
Aug 12, 20201 min read
Police Promise To Wear Masks While Brutalizing Protestors
By Danny Neary D.C. - Today, during an address to the public, the D.C. police chief Peter Newsham announced that from now on all cops...
LITerally News
Aug 5, 20201 min read
To Anyone I Offended By Letting The Dogs Out
By Danny Neary I just wanted to take this time to apologize to anyone who was actually offended. Yes, in my past I did in fact let the...
LITerally News
Jul 29, 20201 min read
Tips For Online Courses
By Danny Neary Schools like Harvard are planning to shift to online courses in the fall while maintaining the same price of tuition. Here...
LITerally News
Jul 22, 20201 min read
New "We Didn't Start The fire" Sequel Just About 2020
By Danny Neary LONG ISLAND, NY - In a surprise announcement this afternoon, beloved recording artist Billy Joel announced he'll be...
LITerally News
Jul 15, 20201 min read
Things To Know About Changes To Unemployment
By Danny Neary At the end of July, the federal government will be making changes to expanded unemployment they’ve been offering during...
LITerally News
Jul 8, 20201 min read
Approved Messages For Your NBA Jersey
By Danny Neary The NBA is planning to let players replace the name on the back of their jerseys with a social justice message. Take a...
LITerally News
Jul 1, 20201 min read
Tips For Re-opening School
By Danny Neary 1. Students won't be allowed to kiss in halls to stop the spread of COVID, and to spare the feelings of the losers. 2. The...
LITerally News
Jun 24, 20201 min read
“This Is All Too Much” Says White Man After Week Of Feigning Empathy
By Danny Neary CHICAGO- Scrolling through Twitter having just finished working from home for two hours area man Tyler Wilkins sighed,...
LITerally News
Jun 17, 20202 min read
I'm Sorry For How I Talked About All My Super Hot Celebrity Ex-Girlfriends
By Danny Neary As some time has passed I’ve realized that many of the criticisms leveled at me about the information I disclosed about my...
LITerally News
Jun 10, 20201 min read
Lead Singer of The Police Involved In Sting Operation
By Aaron Atkins NEWCASTLE, UK -A Newcastle area doctor has been arrested for selling nitrous oxide, charging for each breath taken....
LITerally News
Jun 3, 20201 min read
Follow Your Bliss
By Danny Neary Sometimes I just feel like I'm the only one in this family who ever wanted to be something else. I mean I know, the pay's...
LITerally News
Jun 2, 20202 min read
All Good News By John Krasinski
By Danny Neary (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/john-krasinskis-some-good-news-sells-viacomcbs-massive-bidding-war-1295491)...
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