By Danny Neary
1. Brad - Woah, is that a young Jake Gyllenhaal I see? Brad has really grown into a strong confident young man and his new job in landscaping sure seems to be helping him grow those biceps. He may have started out as little Bradley from down the block but you two feel much closer now.
2. Steven – Sure he’s your oldest son’s best friend but you know the real reason Steven always wants to sleep over. Steven’s heading off to college next year and it’s your job to make sure he knows he’s going to need a stick to fight off all those young college girls because you both know Steven doesn’t want to waste his time with them.
3. Zack – You’ve watched Zack grow up since he was a toddler and boy did he grow up last summer. You always knew your friends Todd and Ellen were an attractive couple but you had no idea just how good their genes would look swirled together. With eyes like an Alaskan Husky, it’s no wonder you were the one who let Zack try his first beer.
4. Derrick – Talk about a charmer, there’s no wonder this kid from your nephew’s basketball team was senior class president. Just look at how that handsome smile beams when you tell him he might have a real future in politics. This kid is going places but not before he comes in for a nice tight hug.
5. Timmy – The youngest of the bunch, Timmy might not be able to buy cigarettes until this October but in your eyes he’s smokin’ already. He might be a little young but you never felt bad about ogling Harry Styles when he first joined One Direction and you sure don’t need to feel bad about telling Timmy he can use your pool anytime.
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