We’ve all been there. It’s the morning of February 14th, and the thought of bestowing your romantic partner with any token of gratitude and appreciation totally slipped your mind. Oops!
Luckily, LITerally and Oreo have (metaphorically) teamed up to provide our absentminded suitors with some last-minute love hacks to keep the flame burning!
1. Celebrate with some limited edition 110th birthday chocolate confetti cake cookies
Everybody loves confetti and cake! And what says "CELEBRATION" like edible confetti? How could your romantic partner stay mad when they are savoring bite-sized morsels of celebratory crème encased in chocolate-infused wafers? Maybe even role play a little by singing “Happy Birthday.” You'e already messed up one holiday, why not two? Our mouths are already watering! But if your lovebird is still chirping, scroll down to try:
2. Limited Edition Lady Gaga Oreos!
What better way to admit that you dropped the ball than a packet of cookies with green-flavored crème inspired by the singer of “Bad Romance”? To really drive home the theme, you could light a few candles and binge season 5 of American Horror Story, but look away during all her sex scenes to show just how monogamous and committed you are. And if that doesn’t work:
3. Consider that maybe consumerism doesn’t have all the answers
You’re 2 for 2 in striking out, maybe it’s time to cut your losses and take responsibility for once. After all, this isn’t the first time, is it? Even baseball has its limits. But we both know that won’t happen, so:
4. Chocolate Marshmallow Oreos!
Who doesn’t love s’mores? And when they aren’t available, why not grasp at lackluster approximations? Was the supermarket out of Mallomars? You didn’t even look, did you? Typical.
5. Pack up your stuff and get the hell out.
This isn’t working. You and I both know it. I’m sorry. The lease is in my name. Maybe you can stay with that dude you run a Discord with?
6. Original chocolate and crème!
You might as well just start shoveling these in while you're crying. You're crying aren't you? Well, it’s a classic for a reason, and reminds everyone of their childhood. Now's a good time to get nostalgic about childhood, too. I used to dip the cookie in milk until it got soggy and let that part melt on my tongue. I’d twist the wafers like you were undoing a yo-yo and scraped out the crème filling with your teeth. Either way, it’s the perfect activity for crashing on a peeling pleather couch in an eight-story walk-up. Yum!
So whether you’re committed or single, swiping right or ghosting, go show yourself some love. Buy a pack of Oreos tonight and let your Valentine’s Day be wonderfilled™!
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