By Danny Neary
1. When you're buying a gift for your girlfriend make sure you mention that it's for your girlfriend to the cashier. That way they they know you're cool and have sex and stuff.
2. Gifts for pets and kids are always interchangeable.
3. For an extra touch, write a personalized note on everyone's gift that predicts how they will die.
4. Make your gift stand out by wrapping it in photos of the recipient sleeping.
5. A great way to give a unique gift is to make it yourself. Just be sure not to get too upset when they say "Oh great, another wooden goose."
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